Hilary Usfun

usurped..

Posted on: January 4, 2010

As any reasonable person knows; spiders are scary.  And as one of these reasonable people, I wish to a) despatch said spider b) without hurting it in a c) environmentally friendly fashion.  And while the screaming ‘Dr USFUN’ loudly and girlishly is an effective technique, there are times when he is away from home and the little feckers keep on coming.

And I guess these criteria are well known among my friends, as one of them bought me this for Christmas.  That’s right; it’s a spider friendly environmentally safe spider remover. This friend rocks. (This friend actually Grew Up on A Farm in Africa, and thus also mocks me for my tiny British wildlife)

(Yes it’s good for the spider to be outside. What’s your point?)

And Dr Usfun felt a bit usurped.  He claimed, vigorously, that he had a spider catcher at the end of each wrist. He couldn’t see why I needed a spider catcher, particularly one that unlike those on the ends of his arms which could be rubbed up and down my legs post removal while ‘you know what that is, it’s the hand that touched the spider’ is actually hilarious fun.  Then he tried it out. Why the change of heart? Why, he discovered the practice spider in the box.

Many hilarious simulations followed. For yes; a practice spider is considered fun.

For some.

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4 Responses to "usurped.."

There was a centipede in my bathtub today, so I tried to wash it down the plughole, and in the process I discovered that centipedes are really good at hanging on to bath plugholes, probably because they have so many arms to hold on with.

Bet you’re really glad you know that now.

Euwww. Showering in wellies is the only way to go.

I read a piece in Nature a few years that said, on average, we eat two spiders a year in our sleep. Honestly!

Oh bum. That was me but my browser loaded it as the wrong profile. Soz.

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